


Gladiohog

by StrongheartMaid



Category: Final Fantasy XV
Genre: M/M, weird status effects
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-11-04
Updated: 2017-11-07
Packaged: 2019-01-29 04:16:12
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 844
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12622976
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/StrongheartMaid/pseuds/StrongheartMaid
Summary: Gladio does not seem to be able to catch a break - falling victim to both a weird status effect (which in and of itself is embarrassing) and his friends' attempts at caretaking (hopefully he'll make it out unscathed and with sanity intact).





	1. “Weird status effect?”

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Raufnir](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Raufnir/gifts).



“So, um, hi, Iris,” Prompto stammered as they approached the youngest of the Amicitia line aka his boyfriend’s little sister. Crap, why was he the one stuck explaining this mess to Gladio’s kid sister? Well, Noctis was off getting supplies and Ignis was probably hunting down information on this status effect, he admitted to himself. “How’s it been?”

“It’s been,” she said, doing a small one shoulder shrug. Her dark amber eyes peered around. “Um, Prompto,” she began. “Where’s Gladdy? I didn’t see him get out of the car with you..”

Prompto did a small nervous laugh. “Ah, funny story that,” he said, rubbing the back of his neck. “Oh, hell, um, long story short is that he got hit by this weird status effect and it, ah, hasn’t worn off yet.”

Iris blinked. “Weird status effect?” she repeated slowly. “So, what is he? Frog? Pig?” she asked, feeling her left eyebrow arch. 

Prompto swallowed. “Oh, if only,” he sighed before fishing something out of his camera bag. “Here,” he said, holding up the hedgehog.

Iris stared at the hedgehog, then at Prompto, then back at the hedgehog. “Gladdy,” she sighed. “You would be the one that gets hit with the weirdest status effects.”

The hedgehog just stared up at the female human.

A slow devious smile crossed Iris’s face and she glanced up at her brother’s boyfriend. “Prompto, I have an idea.”

Prompto could feel his own wheels turning and a slow smile crossed his features. “Photoshoot?”

“Photoshoot,” she agreed.

The hedgehog gave the female a flat look.

“And it looks like Noct had the same idea,” she said, grinning as Noctis returned with doll house sized pieces of Coleman camping gear.


	2. “Fear the almighty Gladihog.”

Prompto quirked a brow at Iris’s comment before he turned to look at his best friend. “Is that?”

“Coleman camping gear, doll house size? Yeah,” Noctis said with a half shrug. “Might as well make him comfortable while he’s stuck like that.” 

Iris grinned at Noctis. “Plus the pictures would make great blackmail material or, you know, proof that this actually happened because you know Gladdy won’t believe you if you told him he turned into a hedgehog.”

Noctis let out a small bark of laughter. “This is true,” he said, a chuckle in his voice. He glanced over his shoulder and smiled wryly at Ignis. “Any luck?”

“None,” Ignis said. “But Dave has promised to contact his aunt to see if she can whip up an antidote. I shudder to think what this would cost us.“ He paused and looked at Noctis. “And no, Noctis, we aren’t going to make him an airborne weapon to throw at people.”

“Darn, spoil my fun,” Noctis said, snapping his fingers.

Prompto snickered quietly. “Oh, but it would be entertaining. Especially if we toss him at Ravus, spines first,” he said. “Fear the almighty Gladihog.”

Iris burst into laughter at that.


	3. "Gladihog?"

Ignis mouthed the name, his left eye twitching ever so slightly. He was about a hair’s breadth away from claiming he didn’t know these people - well, claiming he didn’t know Prompto at the very least. “Gladihog,” he repeated slowly. “You realize he might maim you once he’s back to normal.”

“You do realize this is the man that keeps calling me a chocobo,” Prompto pointed out.

“Point well taken,” Ignis said. “Might we move this inside?”

“Of course,” Iris said, leading the bros plus one hedgehog inside the cottage. “So, how did he end up a hedgehog again? What were you fighting?” she asked, turning her curious gaze on Ignis.

“The hunt was for a nagarani but this one, well, as you can see it didn’t have the usual toad or stone status effect,” he said, removing his glasses so he could wipe the lenses. “We got into contact with one of the hunters and he’s going to see what he can do on his end of things. But for now, we stay here until either the hunter arrives with a cure or this wears off on its own.”

Iris nodded. “So, the regular cure items didn’t work?” she asked.

“Correct,” Ignis said, slipping his glasses back on. He glanced over at Noctis who was busy setting up the camping gear for Gladio. “I must ask, did you think to pick up food for Gladio given his current form?”

Noctis looked up from putting the small tent together. “Well, yeah,” he said, giving a mild shudder. “I think I still have some earthworms that I had planned on using for fish bait but I’m willing to give them up so Gladio can have dinner.”

Iris shuddered. “Ew.”

“Well, it’s not like Cup Noodles would be all that healthy for him in that state, Iris,” Prompto pointed out, and tried to ignore the fact that it looked like the hedgehog was *pouting* - but well, he didn’t ignore it that much as evidenced by a quickly taken photograph.

“Not that it’s healthy for him when he’s human either,” Ignis huffed. “All that sodium.. It’s a miracle his blood pressure is normal and not sky high.”

**Author's Note:**

> This is an utter piece of crack - enjoy


End file.
